The same old ways !  (Read till end)

As I sit in the bus stand waiting for that one bus to come so that, I go home. I observe a hell lot of bizarre things around which are funny and in a way, you know they are like the cheerleaders who cheer me for the work that I do daily by giving me my daily dose of comedy. The funny drunken guy making weird signs to every crossing bus that is not taking him to home.The complaining guy shouts out loud against the government saying ‘what the hell?!! A bus an hour huh? And that also doesn’t come in time?’ The hell with all the government employees, hell with government ministers. There is also a silent complainer who complains to the fellow beside him. Everyone has a reason and someone to blame.

           We all survive on these emotions isn’t it?!.some of us also want to shout out like him or make signs like other guy but you know, we don’t why?? Because it’s not civilized or what people will think or because people are going to laugh at me. The same iterative jobs we do sitting in front of the computer in an A/c room thinking when it’s gonna hit 7 or 8 clocks so that I can leave this and catch the shitty bus and go and sleep. Next day again get up and go do the same thing and again wait for same time. We do an iteration of repetitive work we do and we live the same day we started working for years and expect happiness out of it. Oh! I forgot the sleeping day “The Sunday”. When you think about it’s strange. Is life only this much? or is there something more to it?

Maybe the gift you bought for your parents out of your first salary, maybe it’s the first EMI you filled for your dream bike you dreamt of all throughout your college life, maybe it’s the first installment of loan you had to clear. many things we make out of the salary we get out of the salary we get for the repetitive work we do like some robots. Then as you grow it becomes the fees for your son or daughter. We all somehow want the salary and we all hate our jobs but still do the work because we don’t know what will happen to us if we leave the job and go.

The thing about perfection… you can perfect something only when you practice something again and Again. That’s how things are.. right?! even the great scientists only study science for so long or any subject conduct experiments in the exploration of new things. For example, an astronomer keeps on observing skies throughout his life thinking he is going to find something new, something that others haven’t seen so far. It’s just like any other job go everyday sit in the same place or changing places and doing the same thing again and again. In this period of repetition, you observe patterns or gain some tricks up your sleeve and learn to do the same thing faster. Of course, you can improve the process but always remember “ tube light wasn’t invented with the continuous evolution of candles”. Maybe that is why everyone learns a new software when it gets popular because they have to survive. Else, the younger ones who know will overtake older ones who know the older software.

We, in fact, are in such circumstances only. Because… everyone needs to understand what you say, so you learn the most common language. because people need to understand what you find out or in math you learn formulas in the same manner as others because the evaluator who is evaluating your papers should know what have you written. That’s how things we all need something common to interact. We learn to know other people we learn same repetitive things because we want to be in sink with others and those who can’t learn or act like normal people are special. Who knows they may be sculpting something far, more beautiful than what we have ever seen. but aren’t able to express it in our common language or common means.

I don’t know whom to blame for nature for its means of creations or humans for thinking. may be automation will evolve completely someday and all these repetitive works will someday be done by robots and we will appreciate every unique skill of an individual has and there will be much more things than there are now. Or maybe we will again be doing the similar jobs such as inspecting the Robots or even some other things such as that. Maybe world will be a better place to live with everyone, understanding each other or maybe we learn to live on skies and make the land a dump yards.

Into the present :)

(it,s continuation of olivia and it’s just the post before this and suggestions are always welcome. )

She opened the door. I wanted to charm her as much as possible so that she says, “water under the bridge and we live happily ever after”.

That’s all sir. Said the then investigator of this case. They both move out of the police station

He starts speaking, Oh! Yah I forgot to tell you … I was reading my father’s last remains…. it’s a complicated thing. My father’s last words to me were the last two lines you read … I mean, he didn’t just die after writing it but 2 days or so and I am to find the murderer of my father and then ‘crush’ or ‘girlfriend of my father’ which I am still not sure and kill him/her. Takes the cigar and lights it up.

It is not like I want to take revenge or something but my father wanted me on this earth for the sole purpose avenging his murder. Funny thing I am trained since my birth for the sole purpose of his revenge. you should hear the story how I was born, it’s ample awkward enough to call crazily disgusting. Let’s the smoke out of his nose like it’s hukka.

So, tell me your story honey! Why are interested in this case?

Honey!? How dare you? you idiot, we just met and you blabbered some filmy story and you expect e to believe and tell you why the hell I am here huh?

Okay, calm down. I don’t know your name and you know what there are girls ready die for hearing me calling them honey.

Well, I am not, says with “so what?!” expression.

Okay chill down and tell me why are you here. Says with full composure and a gentle smile.

She gives, “what?!” Expression raising her eyebrows.
He just walks the other way of the road. Then other women walk for about 100 meters and teleport.

(It’s 2035 now and people have really changed a lot.)

He sees her teleport and then walks home. In these times those who walk are the fools to those who are obsessed with technology and people who don’t like technology call those who use technology excessively ‘lifeless people’. He was walking not because of anything but the questions stirring like boiling soup in his mind. What if the person I should kill is already dead? What if he is very old or lost a leg or something and I can’t gather that much heartless feeling to kill him? What if it turns out that my father did something wrong to get himself killed? And a million “What if’s”!!??

The World has changed a lot with years …. With so much of technology, people forgot what it’s like to talk to another person or even understand what other is trying to say. These days they use those machines that symbolize what they are feeling like for example if you are feeling loved a small heart is projected on your heart and if your angry one of those angry emoji gets projected. It’s funny how the world has changed from sending emoji’s WhatsApp to projecting it on their chests and breasts. Some people prefer not to use these tools but many can’t understand what another person is saying without this tool.

He walks along and thinks it’s funny I would not be in this world if my father didn’t want to take revenge and nothing will happen to me even if I don’t take revenge. But people, now know nothing nor the love, not the hatred and the blogs like my fathers have no values at all. Their times must have been amazing.

He finally reaches home and sees there is nothing left in his home except for the stinking fridge and a drawer at a corner. He just goes sleeps on the floor neither surprised nor angry. calm face with no worries. Maybe that’s how it always was.

Olivia (+_+)

(it’s continuation of that one Convo with moon Please read earlier one to get clear idea of this article  hope you like it and also comment if you want me to continue or go with random articles )

The phone had another ring and then moon distracted me. He was still smiling and for some reason, it didn’t seem like he was happy for me, It felt like he was laughing at me. I don’t know what brought this but for a moment I just forgot everything and threw the phone at the moon with all the energy I was left with. Unlucky me it didn’t reach the moon but fell straight down from our three storied building.

Then next day I got up and wanted to go for run…but today I wanted to run a little more and completely remove that numbness of my brain from the alcohol yesterday. I started and then I recollected I had thrown my phone away to moons smile yesterday.

Then voices in my head finally said, oh… Shit! And I said it out loud too

Now that I don’t know whose number was it … was it, Olivia, because it was night or was it the office? For some reason. Heart said, Olivia, brain objected saying no it’s the office for some reason.

Now that the conversation battle was won by heart… the convo in mind started Well, now that it must be Olivia I think she called for something she might have left in my room
or… is that she misses me soo much, she called me to get back together?

Another thought erupted saying it’s for some reason unbelievable to think that she cares after the break-up. A girl like that with such an intellect and soo cute …… oh! I god I really miss her! I want to talk to her right now.

Brain started to travel backward… one thing I loved about me was, I had that dramatic rotation of time imagination in my brain, even in such times.

It was the day I met, she was in scolding an auto-driver for charging 50Rs extra and I had to go somewhere as quickly as possible and I could see no auto nearby except for this one…. so I was like, sir please give her your number and she’ll talk to you afterward and take me to Vrakliap point and she said, you just shut the hell up. I was telling it’s really important to me to go there as soon as possible and then she got a call and then finally turned her face towards me for the first time and said okay I got to go to the same place, we’ll share. I said okay thinking it is apt.

Then we went to Vrakliap point and we had to go the same hospital but she had a happy news that her friend was discharged and I had a news that my closest uncle had cancer then somehow, in the chaos and mixture of sadness and happiness she had found me and comforted me and my uncle telling the story of her friend.. out of the blue! That’s when I had felt something about her.

She being an ethical hacker use tell me the things like how she stopped some random hacker from breaching some info which I had no idea of but still I liked the face she made when she told me such things with all the enthusiasm and those eyeballs seemed like they use to pop out of excitement. I told her things like how I missed a job and she was really cool with such things, one talk with her and I no more felt like a loser, maybe… that’s why I never needed to open that wine bottle.

Then I remembered, the fight we had and she stormed out of the place saying never talk to me again.

I had finished I don’t know how many rounds but all that numbness was gone and the most exciting thing for me I was sweating profusely which I liked.. when happened.

I had bath and went to her room and rung the doorbell!

That One Convo With Moon

It was astounding because everything was hazy that night… nothing was clear to me for the first time in my life I had no idea what I want to do further in my life! It was like a sunrise where even the sun had to surrender and let the moon have its way. Except that sun knew that he had next morning to rock again… but I was in despair if there was ever again another sunrise in my life! My head nothing but incessant chatter saying “what now?” Like a million times in a row. Then that laugh in my head seeing the terrible fate I had that day saying “you are completely fucked up” was humiliating but, I kind of, was feeling cool about myself too.

I remembered that special bottle wine I had kept for the special occasion, I thought was going to be today. Anyhow, I didn’t know life had such a detour in my life that would completely break me into pieces and I never would think of having my first sip of alcohol ever. Then a thought popped into my head…I am broken and I think destiny had made me buy that wine because it knew this day was going to come. I went to the shelf moved those books that were in front of the wine saying you’ll never find anything fishy in here. There was that golden destined bottle wine that I was destined to drink today. I took it to the terrace, there was no one there so closed the door and removed the bottle out of the T-shirt and started having the wine with the approval of destiny.

Then things got a bit hazy I started to feel that urge to let out everything out of my body, I wanted to say everything to someone. I… I no more wanted to keep anything to myself anymore. Then again mind said “ oh! This is what happens when you have alcohol “. I tried calling let’s say he … he didn’t pick up so … I tried calling she… she was not picking up either. Then I said “hell with two!” I have the whole of the universe with me I’ll speak to moon.

I started with a hi!!

He was quite but I felt like he was greeting me with a smile!

Then I said, you know all my secrets are safe with you. you know…oh! What do you know? I liked her so much I thought she was gonna understand me someday. I thought Olivia could find the hint in my awkward way speaking to her, those moments I that I looked at her like.. like I am looking at you now, moments that I wished never ended, “I thought that vibes were working for me then transporting those tiny hint feelings on my face into her beautiful brain which I wanted to go in and see someday.”

Leave her, I thought like that secret book said the hard work I put in reaches the interviewer would at least reach in my ‘last interview hope of the year’. I had practiced so much for this last interview because… not just my practice in front of the mirror basically, all the interview I gave before were also the practices for this one. Even I had saved the company number as office myfuture you know.

I got up from the chair and started moving around like I wanted to argue and took two steps front and then pointed my index finger to the moon Initially and then I though why just one finger and opened complete palm and pointed all fingers towards him and said: ” how could you still smile??” And had the last sip in the bottle.

Then, I sensed some vibration in my chest pocket …. the first vibration I thought it’s just a customer care message, then again the vibration was still on, it vibrated again now I thought customer care because I had called papa and mummy already. Then again this urge in my mind said to me: just see who it is? I checked and saw everything was blurred all I could see was three letters O__i___ and something.

just my thoughts

Earth is in itself is a miracle and we refrain from believing in miracles. How weird are we calling the world a weird place? The universe for that matter is an amazing belief that we entrust upon our ancestors and their discoveries and our build up upon those discoveries. I wonder what world would be without belief!

Isn’t everything around us soo wonderful be it the trees flushing with greenery, the rain drops drenching your body soul at ones on a sad day with little rain drops as though the sky has opened up, to you. Why be so sad when flowers teach you how to smile though their life is just a day. why can’t we embrace the things that we have? Be it the little ants,the marvellous creations around us or even the rivers, seas and mountain peaks. Why do we complain about more? Why isn’t there no limits to our desires and why do we call the ones with self-satisfaction not ambitious enough? I want to question everything why is that our mind questions everything that’s outside it or even in it?

Aren’t all of us weirdos who call the ones weirdos who question why are we this way? Isn’t everything we want already on earth be it the rain that comforts on the sad day or the sun that strikes you saying “ want to shine like me ?…. then burn like me” or even the wind saying see I am neither can be caught nor can I stand still just like your mind. Everything on this earth is just an immense pattern that everyone wants to find out. We all have our own ways of doing it. Some think it’s god and some think it’s the science. Some think it’s work some think it’s just the thinking. some think it’s, after all, we and the force that resides in us and some think it’s the external force that we require. After all, not everything we think is true.

I can tell you a million ways to embrace the world and you can tell me to not embrace it in another million ways. After all, it’s what we choose to do with our tiny lives that matter to us not the world that holds our tiny life. That is why we embrace the little things in our lives like the cars we drive we don’t care the pollution it creates. The mobile that eases our life, not the birds that die due to the signals. We embrace the burger we eat not the animals that died to serve us a delicious meal. I don’t know when we will understand, we let pathogens to grow in our surroundings if we don’t keep it clean.

We are all stray humans who know some things and still do the same mistakes and we don’t know many things but act like we do…..

time is a bomb…. is it?

It all started with big bang theory, When the universe was still hot, energy manifested itself into particles for short period of time called gluons from which, pairs of quarks were formed. Which destroyed one another leading to again formation of more gluons. The universe was expanding and after the continued expansion of 380 thousand years, the universe had finally cooled down enough. From this point, the conversion of quarks back to gluons stopped and the quarks combined to form hadrons like protons and neutrons. Protons, neutrons and electrons combined to form hydrogen and in this period rapid cooling took place creating an electrically neutral environment, this phase was called the dark age because hydrogen gas didn’t allow the visible light to move around. Hydrogen gathered in the cool spots, gravity put the clumped hydrogen gas under great pressure leading to the formation of the galaxy, stars or any other things you see today. The formed galaxies radiation dissolved the stable hydrogen into plasma, which permitted universe and allowed visible light to pass through and this all is just an assumption on some discoveries.

Coming down to our earth here the evolution had begun there still isn’t any proof exactly saying that, at this point exactly where the evolution had begun but again of many hypotheses, contemplations and experiments came up with some important observations. From bacteria to humans i.e. the most evolved and developed organisms everything is believed to be the play of evolution. However, the formation or presence of water still remains a mystery.

I wonder, was it the mistake of the first man, who made wheels to transport things…because if that had not happened there may be no development …or wait would it be that another man would invent the wheel?

We human beings instead of following the same tradition of evolution, we started making things of our own. We built machines that could ease our work, we built buildings so that we could live comfortably under a roof. It was not that we built it just because we fancied these things but, because….there was need. The population was growing, we needed things that could ease human work, Of course, we never knew the consequences then as to ”earth would turn into a gas chamber where we caged ourselves in in bars made of our own hands”. Or is it that earth created us out of so much evolution and tied its own hands? We hear many theories n guesses saying the sun may blast after some years and we even thought that we there would be a disaster in 2012.
All living and non-living things age and basically wear out or die eventually on earth….what about earth it also a large mass of minerals that is held with the gravitational force, of course, it’s stable now but we have an idea as to how long?…even whole universe for that matter it’s also growing bigger n bigger who knows it may also stop growing one day or may grow to an extent that gravitational force gets almost nullified between the masses… and we don’t know if this happens then, when will it happen? After all this, all we can say everything happens with time….that’s nothing but everything in the universe is a time bomb…be it human beings, plants, flower everything on earth is just like bubble on water. Why just earth even the asteroids or shooting stars that clash on earth at times… who knows, even the whole universe for that matter may blast of into another big bang.

What we got to see is will nature or universe take its course of action or us human beings devour us into extinction by blasting teeny tiny bombs that we made, before its action?

still love

Isn’t heart just a blood thrusting organ that oxidises the blood? then why do we say when we meet a nice person he/she is a good from heart or when we say to someone we love, I love you with all my heart. Isn’t heart just an imaginary thing upon which we write stories, poems and portray love? Isn’t it all mind’s work and we give all the credit to heart? Why do these imaginary things hold such importance in our lives… do humans really lack practicality or is it that these imaginary things are far more imperative than the other normal physical or practical things? And why is that we sometimes skip a beat with butterflies in our stomach?

                                Does love really happen these days, like our fathers/mothers or grandfathers/grandmothers did. They completely meant it when they said ‘I love you’. Those were the times, “when things were broken they were fixed not thrown away”, those were the times when there was time to fix the broken things, those were the times when metric pass meant a great degree, travelling to another state or country was something great and people were anxious as to what might happen there, people thought and took decisions, they had patience also, they had time to be patient. Then world wasn’t a global village yet. After all our parents were the ones who pushed us to be so fast, they were the ones who said come first in class, study hard, earn good marks in board exams get a degree, do masters do this do that n so on… They didn’t simply push us for their pleasure but to our growth, for our development, for us to grow out to be a good citizen, for us to be able to look after ourselves when we they are gone. Again, we can’t blame anyone here because our parents pushed us because they wanted us to be good enough and that push happened because globe was developing with every day…it is because people invented millions of things that made globe a village, again we can’t blame progress here because it was necessary for us ease our jobs, it was necessary for us to explore, after all we weren’t brought into this world just to die as just a developed and mutated monkey.

                                    We (Our generation) do love. Again, it can’t as our fathers/mothers did because we don’t have time to fix the broken things, we don’t have time to be patient and metric pass means nothing at all. But in this era of WhatsApp, Facebook, Snapchat we may not be able to commit suddenly to someone we may flirt, we may want to see more options, we might want to fall in love with the right person, there few among us who still seek the right one or sole mate, we might want to take decision of our live more experimentally and who says we don’t like meeting in person……we love going to diverse places, different adventures together, we love going together to the different fantasy worlds that we dream of like wonder-law, we love going to the parties together with the person we love. We may not get committed so soon because we have dreams that we want to achieve before we marry…we do love our families. We still have emotions, it is just that we are moving so fast that, somewhere we have no time to be empathetic, somewhere in swinging whirl of time we forget sometimes, there are things we need to correct too……I don’t say we are perfect but everyone is bound to do mistakes, we also know that our next generation wouldn’t be as we are …it will still be faster.

Bizarre world

As I lay in in my room staring at the window ,I wonder if the window is really there or is it just another illusion play by light?….as I go on ..I wonder what is completely justifiable in this world at all? we first thought that atom was the elementary in this whole universe then someone found out electron just when we thought that electron was the most elementary  there came quarks…it is said that the quark is indivisible but still we aren’t certain that it is most elementary particle yet…because we don’t know in which part of universe there may exist something more elementary than this.My question is …do we ever get completely certain about the whole universe ?does it even possible to know  how long does the universe lie? and what after universe ?what’s the next thing that universe is held in?

Our lives are also the same way right? we don’t know where we go after death. we have feelings which are the result of some bio-chemical reactions happening in our body. Does that  even mean our feelings are response of our own food habits upto certain extent???..this thing questions the existence of all kind feelings ..even the blog I am writing is just a chemical reaction that is making me write these things in here ? ticking in your brain that your feeling now …is it just the effect because you had eaten parota this morning or the effect of reading this? what’s all of this??? even I don’t know.

we have so many questions that are unanswered  and you wonder why isn’t he/she replying to your text?   :”)